Free Shows - 2-25-09

As a teen and young adult, I practiced and polished my act at non-pay showcases and hootenanny nights all over Los Angeles. Clubs ran these shows on off nights and people could see me, along with folk singers, angry poets, and comics at the Troubador... The Show Biz, owned by Murray, a guy who became famous for his appearances as the Unknown Comic on TV's The Gong Show... The Palamino, a cowboy hangout... and many other locations that would provide me with an audience.

My next door neighbor told me his cousin, a Bob Dylan impersonator, performed every third Sunday in an amateur variety show held at Theatricum Botanicum, a rustic Topanga Canyon spot. When I called they said all the spots were taken for the next few months. Through my neighbor, the Dylan impersonator gave me a tip, "If they think you have a following, they'll put you on..." At my request, friends repeatedly called to ask when Steve Spill would be appearing, giving the impression I was a big draw. They gave me a spot.

Accustomed to the comforts of indoor performing, I found myself outdoors, in Topanga wilderness, on a wooden stage that looked as though the back of it had been eaten by woodpeckers. Nervous, I arrived early and rehearsed on the stage two or three times. As matinee time approached, I joined the other acts who were sitting on benches at the side of the stage. The theater manager came down a path through the trees. He announced that since there was no audience, he was calling off the show. Thus my first Theatricum Botanicum appearance was a nonappearance. That night, however, a handful of people showed up at the infamous Theatricum Botanicum, and the show went on.

Doing free shows in LA was a thrill for an eighteen year old magician, and a great way to impress girls. After the Botanicum show, a really attractive twenty-something year old girl smiled at me. The girl's eyes lit up, she told me her name, and asked me questions, seeming more and more intrigued with me. This was working out great! I figured that this could go somewhere.

And then she said, "Hey, are you doing anything Friday night?"
"Well, no."
She said, "Would you like to come to my place? I'm having just a few people over.
"Sure!"

Magic was getting better by the minute. The girl handed me her phone number, this was going like clockwork. The next day I called her and we talked some more. She told me to come over at nine Friday and sounded very excited.

Friday night, I got to her apartment on time and heard lots of voices from inside the door. I walked in and the girl clapped her hands together. She screamed, "Everyone! Everyone! The magician is here!"

I looked around the room at a dozen or so people... all of whom must have been there since seven-thirty. Then it hit me: I had been booked as the entertainment for this girl's dinner party. Now her guests all sat down cross-legged on the living room floor, anticipating my show.

I turned to the girl and said "Um, how you doin?"
"Oh, great, great. Do you want a drink before you start?"
"Well, uh, I ..."
Without even looking at me, she turned to her friends and said, "Okay, everybody, this is Steve. I met him the other day and he's a magician. Okay, Steve, go ahead."

Suddenly I felt like such a dope. This girl had no interest in me other than as a performer... and, moreover, she had invited me over to work for free. I bolted out of there, looking forward to impressing other girls with my exciting show business career.

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