The News - 4-22-09

Engaged to perform at a retirement party for a local TV news anchor, I found myself on a small platform in a banquet room at the Viceroy Hotel. Beforehand, I was instructed to pick a certain young woman to come up and help me with a trick. Whenever I looked away from her the audience would roar with laughter. I'd think, "It can't be me!" I hadn't said anything funny yet. Then I found out she had been flashing the crowd behind my back.

Soon she was totally naked and then another girl screamed, "Her body's terrible!" Whereupon she took her clothes off, as if to challenge the first naked woman. Suddenly girls all over the party were undressing, partially or completely, and everyone went wild. I never did finish my act. Turns out I was just a cog in the wheel of some twisted party-planner's idea of fun.

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